Man the fun times I had at Rhein-Main.
Rhein-Main was my second assignment (circa 1986) of my initial enlistment
in the Air Force. My first assignment was Offutt AFB outside of
Omaha Nebraska. As you can imagine I did not want to be in Nebraska,
when I joined the Air Force I wanted to "see the world"
and needless to say I was not a happy camper in Nebraska. After
I had been there for a while and a few of my friends had gotten
assignments elsewhere I finally asked my Flight Chief, "How
the hell do I get orders out of Nebraska?" Well the big joke
in those days was "Once you get Offutt you never get Offutt."
But my Flight Chief had a guaranteed solution. He told me to re-do
my dream sheet and put down that I have no preferences on assignments
and I would go anywhere the Air Force needed me. My Flight Chief
said that that was guaranteed to get me an assignment, but I had
to live with wherever the Air Force needed me. Long story short,
within a month I was on my way to Rhein-Main and I was one happy
Airmen.
When I got to Rhein-Main I met several fellow
SPs that made my time there very memorable i.e., Kurt Bloom aka
"Boomer", Dave Stapert, Joel Erich, David "Smitty"
Smith, Joe Gallegos, etc. I'm sure there are others, but hey don't
be too critical of me, its been over 20 years!
I had a great time in Germany. I have ancestry
from Hamburg so the food, culture and of course the beer were
right up my alley. I met my wife (another fellow Airmen) in Germany.
Our oldest daughter was born in the hospital over in Wiesbaden.
I took many trips around Europe, snow skied in the Bavarian Alps,
par-took in Oktoberfest (the real Oktoberfest), white water rafted
in Austria, and perused the streets of Paris.
One of the most famous things that I was involved
in while a member of the 435th was playing the "Grand Poobah"
of a crazy little stint we did (more than once I might add) at
various award ceremonies (you know the ones where you had to really
dress up for). To this day I have no idea where we got the idea
from (maybe Boomer or Capt. Brick can tell us), but we would dress
up in a white sheet, with a pair of panty hose over our heads
and march in procession to the front of the ceremony and basically
"Knight" someone with a sword tapped to each shoulder
all the while humming a silly chorus that was inaudible. The thing
was hilarious and it was very hard to stay composed and not join
the laughter of the audience.
Another memorable moment was the time Boomer (Kurt
Bloom) drove his used VW van down to Berchtesgaden with a bunch
of SPs for some much needed time off (drinking beer and sleeping
in tents). Well on the way back while they were on the Autobahn
the van caught fire and burned to the ground. I was not with Boomer
at the time and I can't remember how they all got back to the
base, but that was the final trip for Boomer's famous van - so
sad.
Do you guys remember eating the cheeseburgers
and fries at the bowling alley on base? Man to this day I still
think about those burgers and how I wish I could have one right
now. I have no idea what made them so good, but nothing has come
close since. Also the food and drinks at the German Cantina on
base - yum yum. There was more than one day I stumbled back to
the barracks after drinking one to many Jagers (this was usually
done after the last mid-shift).
More memories - Playing spades and hearts with
the TDY guys (I think they were from McGuire AFB).
A certain Captain (not Capt. Brick either) taking
out 100' of flight line fence at the end of the runway with his
POV on his way home. (one to many beers I imagine).
One last memory - Remember when you were on patrol
and you would be called from time to time to relieve a gate guard
so they could take the patrol vehicle and go to the bathroom?
Well one night I was called to relieve Kurt "Boomer"
Bloom who was on gate guard duty, but I got there late because
I had been dispatched to an incident. Well when I finally got
to Boomer's gate, he did not look anxious to relieve himself anymore.
He looked... well... he looked pissed! Apparently my extreme lateness
forced Boomer to do the unthinkable. But as you are aware, being
a good SP meant you could never leave your post (the Red Army
Faction could enter at any time). To make matters worse, Boomer
was percolating the not so pleasant number 2. Well after he explained
to me that he would now have to kill me for being late and forcing
him to take matters into his own hands I asked him what he had
done with his fouled underwear. He told me that he cut them from
his body with a pocket knife
he had handy. Sorry Boomer, but I could not resist...you may kill
me now.
As you can see, my time at Rhein-Main was an experience
I will never forget and these were just a small sliver of what
happened to me in a short 2 and a half year span. When I left
the Air Force (Rhein Main was my last assignment), I settled in
with my wife and daughter at Homestead AFB just South of Miami
Florida. Hurricane Andrew took out the base in '92 and we moved
to MacDill AFB in Tampa. Today I still live in Tampa, just not
married anymore. My kids are close to grown. I went back to school
and got my degree and now work for Verizon in Engineering and
Planning. Email swasmundt "at"
yahoo.com or call me sometime if you want to chat and reminisce,
but remember the stories you just read are fictional and all names
and places have been changed to protect the innocent. This completes
my shift.
Your Friend and Loyal Pal,
Sam Wasmundt aka: Sgt. Wasmundt
